WHEN YOUR CHILD IS BORN, AND FROM WHEN YOU ARE PREGNANT, SOMETHING CHANGES INSIDE YOU
You cross a threshold and you enter a new world…the world of the parent. You go through a right of passage with the birth of your child. There’s no going back, there is only forward motion. You start to become the parent you create for yourself. You build that parent everyday with your thoughts and actions.
WHAT NOURISHES YOUR GROWTH INTO BECOMING THE ‘NEW YOU’ IS YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE
This includes how you feel about yourself, how you feel about your baby, your child, your adolescent, how much emotional support you receive and generally how you embrace being a parent, with all the responsibilities that come with it.
INEVITABLY, HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR CHILD MAY BE INFLUENCED BY THEIR BEHAVIOUR AND YOUR REACTIONS TO IT
You may be blessed with a calm baby, who sleeps all day, or a cooperative child who loves to please you, or an adolescent who enjoys all aspects of family life and does their chores.
If not, then YOU MAY BE GETTING YOUR BUTTONS PUSHED EVERYDAY and after months or years of this it can wear you down. You may give in more and more for an easy life, you may say ‘yes’ to your child when you want to say ‘no’, you may get out of your exercise routine and your healthy lifestyle, you may have less time for yourself, less time to be creative, to express yourself, to keep up with your friends and to have fun. All of this affects the kind of parent you become.
So the question is: “ARE YOU BECOMING THE PARENT YOU WANT TO BE?”
If you have some level of dissatisfaction with the parent you are becoming then the question is: “IS THERE SOMETHING YOU ARE MISSING THAT WOULD STEER YOU IN THE DIRECTION TOWARDS BECOMING THE PARENT YOU WANT TO BE?
IT CAN BE MUCH EASIER TO SEE SOLUTIONS TO CONCRETE PROBLEMS (like how to build a website and what skills to learn to do a new job) RATHER THAN MAKING A TRANSFORMATION INTO A NEW AND UNFAMILIAR ROLE AS A PARENT.
In fact, many parents get so little support these days that they just get on with it as best they can in whatever circumstances they find themselves. And many parents are doing an amazing job of it too! But many many parents are not happy with how family life is going. Many parents are not completely satisfied with the parents they have become and are just holding their breathe everyday in the hope that things will get better and eventually their children will grow up and they can have their life back. Unfortunately, ‘hoping’ doesn’t bring the changes you want.
FOR ME BECOMING A PARENT WAS A LITTLE OVERWHELMING, TO SAY THE LEAST!
One theme was constant and that was: it always seemed to be about my child, never about me.
In my survival-mode of functioning as a first-time mother, my attention was focused on how I could meet my daughter’s needs, how to get her to sleep, what to feed her, what school was best for her, where to live based on her needs.
While I struggled with these basic facets of life, I surrendered, I compromised, I gave up on so much of my own needs. I created myself as ‘a parent with less’ than before I gave birth.
What was happening was actually an emotional turmoil and a level of stress that became my modus operandi. I became ‘the struggling single parent’.
IN THE END, AFTER MANY YEARS OF SEARCHING, SKILL-BUILDING AND PRACTISE, I FOUND WHAT I NEEDED TO WORK ON
Some of my answers were practical strategies for dealing with my child’s behaviour. Some of my answers were more about the process of becoming a parent, embracing who I was and finding satisfaction in knowing this.
In my “ConnectionWORKS Course for Parents”, I share the guidelines you need for dealing with your children’s behaviour and we fine-tune the strategies to make sense of the information for your specific situation. More than that you will discover what your role is as a parent and your duty to take care of yourself.
If want to change something about the parent you have become ….
If you want to enjoy being the parent you are but don’t know how to make that happen….
If you want to find that missing piece to make your life as a parent more fulfilling…..
then take some time for you and see how the “ConnectionWORKS Course for Parents” can answer your questions…..and it will.
Laura Newman MSc provides professional support for parents looking for answers to everyday parenting issues, like sleep, aggression, sibling rivalry, and more complex challenges, like Autism, ADHD and Special Needs.
Her highly successful “ConnectionWORKS Course for Parents” is available online as a 5 week course with individual consults or as a self-paced study guide.
Laura has over 25 years of professional experience as a Speech Therapist and Child Behaviour Specialist.
Contact Laura for a Free Initial Consultation to get answers to your specific parenting questions https://booklaura.as.me